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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without a word seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly unsuccessful pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who matured during a loneliness crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to discuss romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is interested or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing enigma and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies going for someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do affordable romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to pairs who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions validate your choice to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, largely harmless quirks. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band many young men is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly kill any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {